How a cheeseburger diminished my guilt for food
Tuesday, November 26th, 2024
That day marked the end of the second last workday for the week, and I couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement. With work done, my thoughts drifted to something else: perfecting my basque cheesecake. A recipe I hoped would earn my mom’s approval. After all, she’s the cheesecake connoisseur in our family.
Live Feed of Me Attempting to Bake My Basque Cheesecake
After my workout, my spirit animal -Cookie Monster- started clawing at my thoughts. "I’m craving a burger," it growled. Normally, I’d use this as an excuse to swing by Culver’s, snagging their kid’s meal: cheeseburger, small fries, a drink, and a free scoop of custard—all for just $7. A bargain by today’s standards.
But not today.
Instead, I found some ground beef in my fridge and recalled a YouTube video I’d watched recently about making a simple, satisfying cheeseburger. That recipe felt like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle— it fills all the requirements that I desire:
Ready in 15 minutes
Easy with only two tools to wash
Ftting within my calorie and macro goals
Talent agents can bring me in to reenact Jabba the Hutt in their new Star Wars movie
There will be no bargain young jedi.
The burger inspiration came from Ethan Chewlbaswki’s channel Cook Well (he provides top tier content, so I highly recommend him). I swiftly grabbed the ingredients I had in my kitchen, and I got to work.
Why am I telling you this? Two reasons:
1) I’ve crafted the best bang-for-your-buck cheeseburger meal for myself. 750 calories for 2 phat ass cheeseburgers, Quest chips, and a diet Dr. Pepper. Provides 70g of protein and beats all fast food burgers except Culvers (Yes I fucking love Culver’s… one of the benefits from living in the Midwest lol)
2) I didn’t feel guilty giving in to my craving. Nothing. Zip.
This is that revelation for someone who’s spent over 25 years struggling with guilt around eating food:
Guilt after eating Christmas leftovers the second I got home
Guilt after devouring two medium pizzas, wings, and marbled cookie brownies from Domino’s on a Friday night after a week of eating clean
Guilt for hiding pizza boxes under my bed so that my mom wouldn't know that I was trying to cope with my depression by emotionally eating
Today felt different. Cooking has given me the ability have control over what I ate without feeling guilty. I can eat what I truly desire without guilt. And there's a big difference between desire and want—a difference that shapes your mindset.
Desire is raw, emotional, and immediate. I desire the feeling of sinking my teeth into a juicy burger. I desire the warm, gooey embrace of melted cheese and sautéed onions covering my tongue. I desire the refreshing sip of Diet Dr. Pepper between bites.
Want, on the other hand, is logical and long-term. I want to continue losing weight until I reach my goal. I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I want to be at 15% bodyfat and have a “beach” body.
Understanding this difference has been a game changer. When you ask someone what they want versus what they desire, listen carefully. The words they choose reveal their mindset. It’s not just a matter of having goals, it’s the desire to truly change for the better and to not be afraid to pursue your desires while sticking to your values and goals.
I shouldn’t have a piece of chocolate cake vs. If I plan ahead, I can have dinner with a slice of chocolate cake and enjoy the experience
People will judge me if I serve myself a second plate vs. my first plate was full of veggies and protein, so now I can enjoy in that Puerto Rican rice
I don’t know how to start my own business, so why bother vs. I don’t know how to start my own business yet, but let me find 5 hours a week and start learning slowly
So here I am 6 months later after my epiphany that I am proud to post my first blog. It’s a small win, but a significant one. This comes during a phase of my life where it’s surreal to imagine that I’m currently not making any money, I still haven’t figured out how to be effective with my time, and unsure if I have the self-discipline to continue on this journey.
It doesn’t fucking matter. I cannot lose if I do not quit.
I’m going to need to make sacrifices: less time with friends, spending needs to stay low, and learn a system that works best for me. Either way I will find a system that works for me, and I hope that what I deliver provides value to those who wish to give me their time and find a system that works. I want to deliver my message and values to others because I desire a world where I find happiness if I can help those who want to change their lives for the better.
As Scott Adams once said, “Losers have goals. Winners have systems.”
